1 Percent

In a partnership 51% ownership is much different that 49% ownership.  1% either way makes a huge difference in decision making.

I was counseling with a couple in the medical community recently.  The husband was a very successful physician and his wife was a homemaker.  In talking to them about living out their priorities the husband came to the realization that he was quite content to give decision making in the family and marriage over to his wife.  His wife would have controlling interest in the family (51%).  This came over a period of time for he had tried to make decisions about domestic life in the past. He came to the conclusion that his vote, although important, would be overridden. His wife had a greater share of the decision making process in the family.  He then determined to put his energy and time into providing, something he excelled at.  He gave his wife controlling interest in domestic matters.

The wife felt unvalued and unloved because it seemed that her husband was more concerned about his career than the marriage and the family.  She felt disregarded and lonely.  She tried to get him to connect and be present.  Finally, she came to the decision of making a life for her by focusing on the kids, friends and service projects.  She determined to put her energy in other things beside her marriage. Over the years the marriage drifted apart.

They are now moving toward to reestablishing a 50% - 50% relationship. In counseling we are working through with Doc taking back the 1%, which means putting the emphasis on valuing his wife by his use of energy, time and resources.  The wife is working through giving back 1% by giving up the control that she has become accustomed to in running domestic life.  They are working together on establishing equal ownership of the whole relationship.  Decisions that they are making are very different but they are on the path to having a very different relationship.


Thought to Ponder:

To what extent am I putting my emphasis on my career and leaving my partner feeling unvalued?

To what extent am I putting my emphasis on the children and domestic responsibilities above my partner?



(Galatians 6:2) Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.