Both professionally & personally I am finding that if the communication barrier is overcome all other obstacles to relationship can usually be worked through. There are a number of components that we can count on to help our relationship add up to all that we desire it to be.
One: Question of Communication
There is an essential question that should be asked when involved in communication:
"Do I want to be right, or do I want to have relationship?"
Many times we argue from our perception as if it were the undeniable truth. In fact another perspective may be as equally as valid. If we truly understand our partner's perspective, with the desire to have a better relationship, most times we will find that being right is secondary to having relationship.
Two: Types of Communication
There are two types of communication: one is FM Communication & the other is AM Communication.
Feeling Mode (FM) Communication has to do with conveying & understanding on an emotional level. Most often the female gender wants to be understood in this mode of communication. Fixing the problem is not as important as just talking about it experientially.
Assessment Mode (AM) Communication is the frequency where most men tune in to. This emphasizes rational solutions. For a man many times there is a quest for coming up with a way to fix the problem. Emotions are not the solution, action is the solution.
The problem is obvious. Communication is being handled on different frequencies. The best way to overcome this is to create a new frequency, XM or Cross Over Communication. Cross over into each other's frequency to understand on an emotional & rational level.
Three: Challenges to Communication
Inconvenience- It takes time to communicate accurately & precisely. Many communication barriers begin to be built because it is not considered to be a priority. There are other things more important. This neglect often leads to a crisis that has to be addressed. It is rather like paying taxes. Paying as you go is much easier than receiving a large debit to be dealt with all at once.
Observation- Observation incorporates both verbal & non-verbal communication. Specialists in the area of communication state that often non-verbal messages may be more important than verbal communication. What is being said by body language, voice inflection, eye contact, & facial expression?
Understanding- Many times we are so intent on getting out point across we never really understand where our partner is coming from. I have developed a system of communication I call "Hide & Seek Communication." This entails hiding our response & seeking out what our partner is saying. It is about seeking to understand before being understood.
These are some core components of good communication. Understanding & applying these will give us communication that we can count on.
Take the test below to see where you rate on your communication: