John Opalka's Blog
Happy 4th everyone. Hope you take the day to enjoy spending time with family and friends.
Have you ever been behind someone that has left their turn signal on? It can be a rather frustrating experience. Why? The turn signal is something that is supposed to let those behind a vehicle know of an upcoming decision. If you leave a turn signal on, then one can never know when that decision is going to be made, if it will be made at all.
Are you living with your turn signal on? Saying you are going to make changes, but never do. Telling yourself, your spouse, your kids, that things are going to be different. Day by day you keep intending to change but you keep going along the same way. That arrow on the dash keeps flashing away and a move is never made. Change is difficult, but the hardest part is taking that first step to doing something different. Once you do, your path becomes different and your heading in another direction. That simple direction change can help lead you down a road to being better, being healthier, being where you want to be.
Dont just signal your going to change, take the step(s) to actually change. It just may be the best turn you have ever made.
1) Decide what you want to change.
2) Make a plan of how you are going to change.
3) Make a list of obstacles that are preventing change.
4) Get the help of others to help motivate the change.
What things are you doing to prevent change?
What part of change are you most afraid of?
"A trump is a playing card which is elevated above its
normal rank in trick-taking games. Typically an entire suit is nominated as a trump
suit - these cards then outrank all cards of the plain trump card and can refer to any sort of
action, authority, or policy which automatically prevails over all others."(Taken from Wikipedia)
I use the term "trump card" a lot when I am working with parents. Many times it seems that parents will allow their children to prevail in authority over them. This then causes parents to feel as though they have no control, which then causes chaos in the home. This chaos is because there is no parental figure enforcing rules, boundaries and consequences. If I have learned nothing, I have learned that kids need those three things to be healthy individuals. It is of the utmost importance that you as a parent realize that God gave you the control (Trump Card) to raise your kids "in the way they should go". Use that control wisely! Stayed tuned for ways to better use that control and the type of parent you might be.
By now most people have heard about the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. In thinking about this disaster, two things came to mind: 1) Oil is not a man made product, its a natural product of the earth. Many times it seems that when things damage the environment, they are man made products. 2) No matter how large something is, if something else is added that doesn't go well, it can cause major trouble. The ocean is made up of millions of gallons of water with different currents, one might think if something is added to it, it would just be diluted and not make much difference.
I was thinking that these 2 things can relate to our everyday lives. Sometimes we do things in our life that seem natural or second nature but yet we haven't given thought to them and they cause problems. Secondly, there are times when we add things to our lives like a new job, a relationship, marriage or new friend. These things may not mix well with our lives and therefore also cause problems. The point of all this is to say, take time out of your busy schedule to think about the things that are in your life, whether they be things that have been there for years or are things that you have recently added. Make sure they are not causing trouble or have potential to. This simple checkup may save you from a "disaster".
Human Trafficking/Sex Slavery
It sounds like something that happens only in other countries. But did you know that Human Trafficking even happens in your own backyard. Yes, that's right, even in Springfield, MO. 300,000+ girls are abducted and sold into modern day slavery. This slavery isn't to clean the house, wash the dishes, or be a maid for a family, its to be a sex slave. To be used for sex over and over and over again. The biggest thing we can do at this point is to spread awareness, contact your political representative and pray. The following is an article and video from the Today show about a 16 year old abducted and sold for $300,000.
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/27098993/
If you want more information about this topic, these are some organizations that are working to free these girls.
http://www.klaaskids.org/
http://www.exoduscry.com/
Everyone wants to be happy right? To get up in the morning and feel good about facing the day. Up until now some studies have shown that we have no choice whether we're happy or not. Being happy has more to do with our genetic make-up, much like how depression is passed down from generation to generation. However, a new study refutes those studies and say that we have a choice if we want to be happy. It states these 5 things that will make you happier:
1. Be grateful
2. Be optimistic
3. Count your blessings
4. Use your strengths
5. Commit acts of kindness
If it were only that easy right? How about start with one, any one, and try it out for awhile. If it helps, add another, and then another. See if putting some effort into your life, could actually make, you happy. :-)
When you read the title of this blog, did you immediately think I was talking about a woman. Well if you did then I got you. Its interesting how we think of men and women these days and nothing made that more apparent then the commercials during this years Super Bowl. This years Super Bowl broke an all time record for the most people watching a program, a record that was held for over 26 years. I would imagine lots of men, women and even kids and teens were watching this game. I wonder how many caught the theme of the commercials, men seem to be dumb and women have to raise us. Now I am not here to start a gender debate, but my question is, what do these types of commercials and themes on TV say to our kids and teens about being a man or a woman? What do they say about our gender roles and how we should act as male or female. All I can see is that more and more guys and girls are more confused then ever how to be a REAL man or a REAL woman, whatever that may be.
PS. Hmmm I wonder if the bible talks at all about how we should be as male and female?!
This video is entitled "You" and talks about us as people. But is it just about us, or is it about God working in us? I dont support the Scientology church and at first the video seems really good in talking about us, but in looking deeper into it, there seems to be some errors in this idea of "You".
The title of this might be confusing to you, usually it reads, Parents: Raising your Teens. However, I have a new take on this. How many times have you asked yourself, I have never done this before. I am new at this. What cloths do I wear to school? How should I do my hair? Does the boy/girl like me? All these questions are normal for young people to ask. Could it be that parents are asking some of the same type of questions? What time should his/her curfew be? What should I say about his/her hair/cloths/friends? I bet you never thought of your parents wondering what to do.
Remember, many of your parents have never parented before. They are learning just like you are. The solution to all this learning and questioning going on: Communication, in simple form talking to one another.
God created us with a mouth and ears for a reason. Are you using those
to the full potential that God created them to be. Our mouths help us
to talk, eat, breath, etc. However, the talking part is the most
important when it comes to the relationship between us and our parents.
Talk to your parents about your questions, struggles, etc. and
hopefully they will use their ears to listen and be there for support.
You have to use your ears as well to listen to what your parents have
to say. Many times we write our parents off because, “they don’t know
what I’m going through, or they don’t know what they are talking
about.” I would say, give them a chance and at least listen and give
their talk some thought. If you and your parents are both using the
mouth and ears the right way, I promise your relationship will be
better then anything your friends may have.
Discount on Counseling
CCS on Facebook
Counseling: A Chore or an
Opportunity?
I have been a counselor now for about 2 years, its something
I really enjoy. I try to pass this
enjoyment on to my clients so that they can walk away from counseling and say,
“That was a good experience, I would do that again.” I have a feeling though that most people do not
enjoy counseling and surely don’t look forward
to doing it. If you really examine the
counseling process however, what an opportunity! You have someone whose only job it is to help
you with your life. A person who is unbiased to your situation
and can help you examine what’s going on, whether it is with a marriage,
self-esteem, addiction or just dissatisfaction with life. That being said, this doesn’t mean that going
through the process is easy, but most opportunities involve some work and many
times are not easy. I am sure you have
heard people say, “I was given an incredible opportunity.” And while that may be true, they had to take
that opportunity and do something with it.
Same with counseling!
I am sure
everyone reading this right now has done chores, some many even be doing them
now. Whether taking out the trash,
cleaning our rooms or loading the dishwasher, we all dreaded them. But even chores caused us to get something
accomplished, we didn’t like it, but the trash was outside, our rooms didn’t
smell like a locker room and there were clean dishes to eat off of. So no matter how you view counseling, as a
chore or an opportunity, your life will be changed. How much work or how well you work on this
chore or opportunity will determine how much change can or will happen in your life.
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