Dealing with Feelings

Four Responses to Feelings

1. Repress - block, retrain, keep in check

Response -“I know I have feelings that need to be dealt with but I will deal with them later.”

A person coping with feelings in this manner will be busy with commitments, schedule, volunteering or any other thing that will keep feelings in the background.

2. Suppress - Mute, subjugate, put it down, don’t deal with or act as if it doesn’t exist.

Response - “I don’t feel the intensity of the pain anymore or sometimes I don’t feel it at all so it must have just gone away.”

A person coping with feelings in this manner will find that certain events or circumstances will trigger unexpected negative emotions that will have a detrimental effect on relationships or performance.

3. Express Reactively - Retaliate, reciprocate, disburse, give it right back

Response - “Since I have enough to deal with emotionally and I can’t deal with any of your negatives, I will simply express mine; what I feel, when I feel it.”

A person coping with feelings in this manner will either talk to anybody who will listen about situations that caused negative feelings or will immediately lash out at anyone who remotely crosses him/her.

4. Express Proactively -

• Name what you feel
• Explain the reason you feel this way
• Examine what you can do about 2 to help with 1
• Deal with feelings personally before relationally (Matthew 5:23 principle)